This past week, we found ourselves some free time to entertain a night out. The holidays are always great because its filled with things to do, and people to see, but sometimes I seriously have had enough of you people. In the spirit of the holidays passing us by, as Frank Costanza would say during his yearly Festivus celebrations, “I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!”
I actually don’t have a problem with anyone I am close with, but sometimes I do want to just detach and spend time with the lady, eat some nice food, drink a nice glass of wine, and tune out. Going out to nice restaurants around town gives me this escape from the usual faces and activities we routinely engage in and with. It also gives me time to reflect on how grateful anyone should be to live in a city that gives a damn about its food. Quite literally, you cant find anywhere else in the country that has the ability to supply the wide range of cuisines you can enjoy on any given day or evening. You think I’m blowing smoke up your ass? Read this: Portland ranked as the country’s best foodie city If that doesn’t suffice, read this: 10 Reasons Why Portland Remains One Of The Country’s Best Food Cities. Haven’t had your fill? Try this one: Best Foodie Cities in America. As Hawk Harrelson would say, “Don’t stop now boys!” (That one’s for you, Dad.) I might as well drive this point home: If you are presently reading this outside of any city that isn’t Portland… well, I hate to inform you, but your city just can’t swing it. And you know what, that’s ok. Don’t feel bad. It’s ok you don’t have as well of a developed palette as myself or any other Portlander for that matter. I invite anyone to try and persuade me otherwise, but until some restaurant in Oklahoma City earns a Michelin star, I’ll be here.
Tartuca Review
Where we tuned out this week was a great little hole in the wall that is located off of North Mississippi Ave. Tartuca is an Italian scratch kitchen that focuses on handmade pizza, pasta dishes, shareable plates, and offers an array of worldly wines. Their inspiration is based off the cuisine you would find by the villages of Piemonte, Tartuca. Their rotating menu is dependent on the ingredients that are readily available during any particular season. Needless to say, everything is fresh. Nothing is ever frozen, nor is anything on their menu considered processed. If you are looking for a clean, delicious meal, with a great ambiance, I think you don’t need to look any further.
When I say this is a hole in the wall, I am not exaggerating. You quite literally walk from the side walk into what feels like the entrance to a hallway. Something I feel like you would see in New York City. With low dimmed lights, a bar top/dining space that looked directly into the kitchen, I knew we had made a good choice. We reserved a spot at the chef’s counter, of course! I love that front row seat, as you are well aware, and I think Bella is coming around to it too.
The ambiance of Tartuca is really hard to beat. You feel like you are sitting in a kitchen watching high functioning, uniform talent go about making your meal. While you are wowed with their precision, speed, and communication, you also get the air that these folk on the other side of the counter are like a bunch of cool, calm and collective Clint Eastwoods. This Saturday night was just another night. Nothing ordinary. The place exudes confidence, whether that be the people behind the counter, helping you with the menu, mixing your drink, or just passing by. I imagine Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack would have hung out here if given the chance. Its confident, and for a good reason—its really cool.
Drinks
My picture I took of my cocktail is blurry so I am going to ask you—reader—to close your eyes… Wait, you need to keep reading. Don’t do that. Ok, imagine an old fashioned. Do you see it in your mind’s eye? Ok, good. Now replace bourbon with mezcal. That’s what I had. I actually have this cocktail very regularly whenever we are going out and the reason or this is because Mezcal is delicious and somewhat under appreciated. Some Mezcals are funky, some are peaty, some are more agave based, but all of them seem to share a similar trait—they’re unique. If you haven’t tried mezcal, I would compare it to how we look at scotch when comparing it to whiskey. Scotch is whiskey, but with slightly different flavor profiles. Scotch is whiskey, but not all whiskey is scotch. Mezcal is basically a more attractive version of tequila. I have no issues with tequila, I just happen to drink it and make an ass out of myself so I have had to personally 86 it from my liquor cabinet. I cant just leave you hanging though, so here is a picture of the glass of wine I had after my cocktail.
This Cabernet Franc was nice. A good blend, but not something I would seek out. I recently was gifted a bottle of Cabernet Franc, so I am hoping that my opinion of this blend changes when I pop the cork. This wine sufficed just fine though. As for the lady, she has a liking towards Orange wines. Yes, you red that correctly—Orange wine. The hell is Orange wine? I asked the same question when I first heard about this type of wine. I’m sure you are aware there are white and reds, but let me help you better understand an orange wine.
In the process of making red or white wines, one of the main steps is take the skin from the grape and let only the juices do the work. When making an orange wine, this step is omitted. The skin is in contact the entire time of vinification, which in turn results in a more orange hue. Little to my knowledge did I realize this could even be done with a red grapes! I had only seen this in the form of using white grapes to make an orange wine. This wine Bella had was rosy, floral forward, and somewhat oaky. Personally, I don’t care for orange wines, but this one was pleasant. If you are looking for something that slightly veers off the beaten path, you might find a visit to Tartuca worth while. This wine was interesting, and worth trying at the very least.
Appetizer
I personally love bread. Bread in liquid form and in its physical form. Both are great. I feel bad for anyone with celiac as you are kind of missing out, but also, I’m sorry you have celiac. Anyway, sometime over a year ago, I started baking my own bread. Not as a means to save money… Bread isn’t breaking the bank in our house. I wanted to start baking bread as a means to broaden my abilities in the kitchen. I think of myself as somewhat a good cook. Certainly not a professional, but an amateur who takes their food seriously. If my newsletter hasn’t pointed that out to you thus far, you can kindly exit through the gift shop. For those who have decided to stick around, you must be extremely intelligent and good looking because at the end of the day, those are the only people I want reading this anyways, but more importantly, thank you for hanging out. If you can’t tell by now, the lady and I ordered bread. The House made Focaccia was screaming at us because that is the type of bread I gravitate towards whenever I bake. Take a look at the latest loaf I made for us.
Since I am no baker, I need to saturate my bread with things to distract my victims from the quality of the actual bread itself. The red onions, roma tomatoes, rosemary, garlic, and flakey salt seem to be a good distraction from the quality of the what I am actually making. I should mention that my version is a sourdough focaccia, which is a slightly different process to make in comparison to what Tartuca was able to provide. If you were to guess, who do you think makes a better bread—me or Tartuca? If you guessed me, I am flattered, but you have must have a smooth fish brain as well. The bread Tartuca made really put me in my place and annunciated that I am simply just a guy in a home kitchen, which is ok, but the people who are in the kitchen at a restaurant like Tartuca are doing this as a means to provide for others, not themselves.
This airy, spongey, soft, warm, carb filled, delight was enough to make think, wow—these guys aren’t messing around. You know this place takes their bread, pasta, and pizza seriously when they are making it in house on a daily basis.
So needless to say, the bread wowed me. Left me feeling very humbled and that I need to start working on my personal endeavors with flour, water, yeast, and my starter. My bread is good, don’t get me wrong, but if you are looking for something that will really say, hey, you want to try a little something that will make you taken care of?—Tartuca, my friend.
We couldn’t stop at bread. We needed a little variety. For that, we went to the other end of the spectrum. Salty sea boogers. Oysters have been a staple for me as an amuse bouche for years. As I mentioned in my previous newsletter, I still am amazed how these have made such an impact into our culture as humans as a means to deliver seafood in its raw, and unaffected form. It’s beyond me. Either way, I’m a sucker for sea boogers, and so is the lady, so when we saw that on the menu, we had to get them. I’m not going to go too far in depth about oysters because they are rather straight forward. What do I mean by this? Well, if you haven’t had oysters, they are either fresh/good, or they aren’t that fresh and not so good. Some will be more creamy than others, and some will be saltier and briny, either way, you add some hot sauce, add some lemon. Plop that mucusy gunk in your face hole and it should speak for itself. Tartuca’s were how I like oysters, fresh and good, salty and briny.
Entrée
We didn’t come here for just oysters, bread, and wine. We wanted some fresh, handmade pasta, and that is exactly what the doctor ordered. The options all seemed suitable for me, but I fell upon the Gemelli. This dish was prepared with braised duck (sorry Mom. RIP Chuckles), black garlic, which is basically just normal garlic on steroids. Super rich and full of robust aromas. To add to this, hazelnuts and kale.
Upon my first bite, I was entertained with how well-rounded the flavors and textures came to me. The braised duck was succulent, and tender. Falling apart in my mouth with each bite. The hazelnuts added a nice texture on top of the soft gemelli pasta, and the black garlic was absolutely wonderful. A very rich, and seasonal meal. The kale just felt like a filler. Why it has become so popular to me is still something I am trying to wrap my head around. I ate every single bite and did it while trying to appreciate every single flavor. Its one of those meals that forces you to pay attention to what is happening on your palette. The beautiful thing about the human experience that sets us apart from any other animal, is our distinct ability to taste our food. What was once an adaptation to survive has also lead us down a path to experiencing pleasure. This in and of itself should lead you to want to try and make/eat good quality food no matter what.
There is quite a difference between fresh ingredients, and ingredients that you just pull from the cupboard that you got from the grocery store this week. If I were to guess, nearly everything on this plate was obtained within less than 48 hours of each other. That is not something you generally find at any restaurant. Needless to say, Tartuca blew me away with everything single thing they had to offer. So much so, I asked Bella if we could do a dessert. If you know me personally, I do not usually gravitate towards sweets, but because of how well things had gone, I wanted to entertain it.
Dessert
Apple tart is something I think can be served year round. Its warm, flakey crust and sweet/tart apples make it perfect to feel cozy on a winter eve. It has the versatility to be enjoyed at an afternoon picnic during the spring or summer. A tart should be warm and almost gooey in the center, unfortunately, ours was not that.
Although this presentation is stunning and would look great in any bakery window, I felt it was lacking in its temperature when served. It felt like it was popped into an oven from the freezer, which seemed odd considering they call themselves a scratch kitchen. Maybe they meant their shareable plates and entrees were from scratch, but then how would you explain their daily made dough? Even if they did make it earlier that day, the tart fell just a little bit short. It was tasty, but it didn’t drive the final stake into the ground like I was expecting it to. Oh well. You live and you learn, and I definitely learned that Tartuca is doing something special in North Portland. So much so that I would recommend it to you if you are ever in the area. Just maybe not the tart.
Evan’s Eats Report Card: Tartuca
Ambiance…………………………A
Wait staff………………………….A
Drinks……………………………… A-
Appetizers………………………. A
Main course……………………..A+
Dessert……………………………… C
Expense……………………………. B+
Overall Experience………… A-
We're doing a mezcal cocktail tour next time I'm in town.